Sunday, May 16, 2010

So much for "happily ever after"


Did you ever have the chance of visiting “disney princess website”… you will hear a voice saying “welcome to the magical place of Disney princess, the loveliest place you have ever dreamed of, where every day is happily ever after

As usual my mind started to drift, are we being fed the wrong information? All my childhood, I loved Disney animated movies, I used to fantasize about cinderalla’s white dress and her glass slippers, sleeping beauty’s handsome prince who wakes her up with love’s first kiss, Princess Ariel, Princess jasmine, bella, mulan, poccahontis and so on…

Also many of the girls around me also share pretty much the same interest, a tall handsome young prince ( or RICH would be just as good enough) on a white horse ( now exchange to a white jaguar), who comes from a rich nobel bloodline of kings and queens (now traded for LUMS graduates or Engineers)

What little experience I have had in my life, I can easily conclude that love is not like a fairy tale..

Atleast when a little boy grabs a toy off the shelf it usually is something like cars or toolbox or planes, and when a girl picks something from a toy shop, why is it always a Barbie doll with their perfect hair and perfect outfits and their perfect HOT prince.

Are we fed the wrong information by Disney movies and all these happily ever after movies? Did watching too much of these princess’s perfect stories have mess with our expectations? Do we expect to meet our knight in shinning armor in a ball (now exchange for our best friend’s wedding)?

Will loosing a slipper or kissing a frog ultimately helps us find our happily ever after.. but don’t they also say that you have to kiss a million frogs to find your true prince?

We cant expect things to be perfect because life isn’t fair.

Friday, May 7, 2010

The GOOD!!!... The BAD... and The UGLY!!!


i wouldnt say i wasnt scared... i was scared to death.. n i was continously cursing the time i said yes for this surgery... glasses and contacts do irritate me but hospital and SURGERY is something i would never trade with nything

my mother was more worried than me, she knew i was her chota sa bacha and she knew no matter how much i say "ill b fine maa" , i was not :D

as soon as i handed over my file to the attendant, i realised that i have to go inside alone... they took my scans which were kind of cute :D...nothing major, just the "layout" of my eyeballs to help them get the coordinates right (like an eyeball map!).
Then they put a hair cap over my head to keep my hair out of my face, plopped two yellow stickers on my forehead... two yellow bandages over my cheeks to cover my ears ...and i was sent back to the waiting room with other five people having the same funny bandages :D
All I could think about was how silly the stickers on my face looked, i wish i could share a picture of that moment here :D

i was taken to the operating room where my doctor was trying to explain the procedure to me and was trying his best to put me in "im not afraid and i dont care" mood which i doubt he was very successful at
They told me to lie down on a chair/bed and the doctor put a patch over the eye he was not working on. He put numbing drops in, taped my eyelashes back to my lids so they were out of the way, and stuck in the little steel thing that keeps your eye propped open. All of this was much more more worse than it sounds...
and Yes... you are wide awake for this surgery !!!!

my doctor talked me through the process..saying things like, "okay look at the red light, a shadow will come towards your eye, you're doing great". It was all dandelions, rainbows and sunshine.. until the flap cutting part happened.
in order to treat the eye they have to cut a flap on the surface of your eye, peel it back, and then laser treat the surface. The worse than worst part of the whole procedure was the flap cutting. It didn't hurt, i cud barely feel anything because of the numb drops they had put in.. but i could see the scalpal by which they were cutting my poor eye...


it was a lot of pressure and scariness and then your sight goes completely black and you feel like you have gone blind. It comes back after about 3 seconds though, and you can see that orange blinking light again (I was so happy to see that little light).
during whole of this 10 seconds procedure of cutting the flap, my doctor was continously pleading me to stay still and calm... cause my eye ball was continously dancing left and right :D... but i dont think any normal human being can remain calm after wathcing the scalpal type knife cutting open ur eye flap...

Then the laser comes on and i could hear the attendee saying "sir ! laser ready to fire" like some sort of counter strike game was on... i held my breath... my eye ball was continously dancing under the red liught... some clicking and you can't feel anything at all, but you can smell your eyeball flesh burning (sounds horrible but it is really quick!).


the worst part in these 20 seconds time was that the attendee said "sir ! laser ready to fire" four times, and everytime i heard him saying that, i swear i wanted to push away all the machines and wanted to run out of that place...
Then they lie the flap back down, put a few drops in your eye, take off the tape, and voila! Then they move on to the other eye.


48 hours of continous pain and you feel like your eye balls are on fire from the back of your head.... your nerves palpitate, whenver you try to sleep , you will see yourself following the same red light... for 72 hrs you will have nightmares about a red light :D...
they give you 'valium' to help you sleep but valium does not help you in sleeping at all... nothing works... your eyes become too much sensitive to light, even the lightest of light seems to hurt your eyes.

but after 72 hrs, i woke up one morning with a crystal clear vision, i could see the clock in my room which i never really could see without my glasses :D.. it was the strangest sensation to have "naturally" perfect vision when you are used to waking up and stumbling through your morning semi-blindness unless you reach out for your glasses..... though i could not enjoy this feeling for long as within 5 minutes everything was blurred again :D

my doctor says it will take around 3-4 weeks for my perfect vision :).. so anyways, cheers to naturally good vision and no more contact lenses and its time to get rid of my glasses !

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Manifolds of life

There are too many things I found out today:

Never think that a happy person standing beside you is really happy… he may have lived through million times more tragedy that you will live in hundred years

The more you will try to hold sand in your hands.. the more it will slip away.

A person (especially me) can never be satisfied with what it has… the need of having more is the essence of life (though I don’t like it about myself)